The classic "Open Sesame" tale (type 676).
I tell my girls they are beautiful. I tell the they are smart and funny. I also tell my son he is the cutest little boy ever and that he is also smart, funny, and silly. Because they are. And telling my children they are beautiful does not negatively impact their self-esteem, it does not make their self worth center around their physical traits. It’s simply the truth and frankly, they need to grow up thinking they are attractive in addition to being intelligent, athletic, funny, and whatever else they may be. Having confidence in their appearance is better than feeling uncertain about it.
An excellent home page featuring Denmark'smost famous writer.
I love love LOVE baby dolls, but have absolutely no desire to have a child. I am in my late 20s and all my friends think it is weird that I am so obsessed with baby dolls. I think it is weird that they want to reproduce.
My 3rd grade–now 4th grade I imagine, granddaughter was visiting for the first time since January when she and her parents and brother moved out of state. I made oatmeal for her and unlike the other grandkids, she said she liked it and we discussed the small dash of cinnamon I had put in it. As she talked, she seemed so much older in the 5 months since she left and, golly, she was beautiful. I searched for a way to tell her this, but something held me back. Our conversation was about breakfast and other things and that made me realize, as it was happening, that her beauty in my mind was something I didn’t need to share.
Thanks for opening my eyes to see that I did something good! I will continue as I have 8 other granddaughters below the age of 18.
Sponsored by the Italian Studies Department at Brown University.
This might be a male perspective – we tend to prepare our children for the external while mothers prepare them for the internal – but it is a necessary perspective. The world does not follow the rules.
Folktales about housekeepingtests used for choosing a bride.
I really like what you’ve written. As the parent of a 6 year-old daughter I am (and have been) constantly wary of what I communicate to my daughter for these very reasons.
Folktales about eating dead people.
We want to implement blanket philosophies to help people feel equal, to eliminate pain, to equalize potential, and to do a million other nice things. Because people are different, there is never a true “one size fits all solution.”
Achain tale from China about a boy with an enormously long name.
I think the good in your article is in getting to her level, asking her a personal question about books, and engaging her as she is a regular person (not a child person). Children might lack the vocabularies and experiences to communicate everything on their mind to us, but they understand us from birth. They have their own personalities from birth, only added to or nudged into social conformity later. You spoke to her as you would speak to any stranger, and it was to her … not what she looked like, represented, or what you thought she was. That was the magic in it. That is what made it work.
A ballad by John Greenleaf Whittier.
That’s a good read….now I just wish people would get off my 3 year old Grandsons back for liking the color pink and BOYS just don’t do that! *sigh*
Stories from England, Wales, the Isleof Man, Scotland, and Ireland.
I avoided telling my daughter she was pretty when she was younger. Her mother was adamant we not focus on appearances, for specifically those reasons you mentioned. She was still somehow the girliest girl in so many ways, before she could even walk. A year after her mother left us, on father’s day, she woke up early, took a bath, combed her hair, and got out a Halloween dress and put it on for church. She was excited and kept posing for me and finally said, “daddy, do you think I’m pretty today?”
I realized she was wearing my favorite color – something she normally would only wear at Halloween.